Questionable Origins
by CAVEMAN3313
Summary: Symphonies of War (HiE/Self-Insert)-Act I- A rude, vulgar human stirs up the peaceful lives of many Ponyville ponies, incurring the wrath of the ruler.


I opened my eyes. However, instead of seeing my normal white ceiling, I saw blue sky. I was rather confused. I bolted up, and saw that I was certainly not in my house, but next to a forest. As I had often hoped, I would soon come to know it as the Everfree. Letting my ADHD-fueled mind run wild, I decided to stand up and walk into the forest, forgetting that many dangerous creatures lived within. I wandered the progressively-thickening woods, marveling at how detailed a completely animated world could actually be. I kind of imagined that this would be like a really lucid, but still badass, acid trip. However, my intrigue was soon replaced with fear, as a pack of Timberwolves appeared out of the brush.

Human: Oh shit.

I turned to try and escape, only to see more Timberwolves. I was scared out of my mind, although you wouldn't know it by looking at my face. I flashed back to Granny Smith's venture into the forest. I knew that they probably wanted to eat me, and I did not want that to happen to me. Instead, I decided to stand perfectly still.

There I was, frozen, not knowing if they would still attack me despite being still. After all, Endermen don't attack until directly observed, right?

But the beasts didn't attack; they only stood there, watching me silently. Then, the largest of the pack, made of strong oak from what I could tell based on the color, approached me slowly. When it got to me, the Timberwolf did not attack. Instead, it smelled me. Apparently my leather jacket was quite intriguing. Perhaps the smell of steer still lingered on it? The beast then tried to nibble it slightly, but I reflexively pushed its head away. I noticed something strange when I did so; it looked almost as if it Timberwolf cringed when I denied it my jacket. This surprised me, as I had expected it to bite my hand off. Then, I decided to try to talk to it, for some reason.

Human: Soooooo... are you gonna eat me?

The wolf just stared back at me. However, at that moment, an idea came to me. I started to back away slowly, holding out my hands to him as I eyed the ground around me. An old animal skeleton, one that I had not noticed before, was lying near a tree. Creeping over to the tree, I snatched up one of the remnant bones. I brought the bone to the Timberwolf, who saw it and sniffed it with wide eyes. I put it in front of its mouth, and it snapped the bone out of my hand and swallowed it whole. Then, from between the cracks of its wooden flesh, gray smoke puffed out and dissipated into the air. After watching the smoke disappear, I saw the Timberwolf sitting down calmly in front of me, and I knew that I was successful in taming it.

Human: Awwwwwwwww yeah!

I shouted out to the world. Afterwards, I proceeded to feed the rest of this clearing's bones to as the rest of the pack. When all was said and done, I had my small army of Timberwolves all sitting around me. However, I wanted something to test out their combat abilities on, and I began looking around. But, with Fate being both a cruel and loving mistress, my request was soon answered. Hearing a crunching noise coming from the edge of the forest clearing, I spied a great missionary beast to send my Timberwolves out on: a manticore. So, to command my wolves for attack, I grabbed a large stick from the roots of a nearby tree, ran up to the manticore, wacked it with my makeshift weapon, and then sprinted away. But, like in the wonderful world of Minecraftia, that minor blow was all that was needed to set these beasts off, and my pack proceeded to attack the manticore, ripping and tearing at its flesh. Blood and gore was flying everywhere as my wolves mutilated the chimeric beast. The manticore gave one final roar before it gave in to the onslaught.

After about a minute of brutal combat, the manticore was finished. It fell to the ground, and after a nod of my head, the leader of my pack began tearing away flesh from the creatures abdomen, with the rest of them following suit.

However, I heard a voice, rather soft, but still loud enough to hear from a distance.

Human: Who could this be? Ohhhhhhhh... Fluttershy.

I knew that the kindest pony would never hesitate to run headfirst into the even the most frightening of places if it meant saving wounded animal. I glanced back at the bloody beast corpse, and start panicking, trying to think of a plan to make HER not panic. I could not fathom a plan before she came into view.

Fluttershy: Hello? Do you need help? It's okay, I won't hurt-EEEEEEEHHHH!

Fluttershy was trying to elicit a cry for help for to aid in the search for the wounded creature, but she shrieked at the sight of the bloody manticore with a pack of Timberwolves eating from its carcass. She turned to try and hide behind a nearby tree, but noticed me, and fainted. By reflex, I caught her in my arms. After a last look at my feasting beasts, I decide to move Fluttershy's unconscious form out of the center of my new clearing/home, for safekeeping. Better than leaving her outside, in the Everfree Forest, near a pack of vicious Timberwolves, however tame they are.

It was at this point that I noticed how small Fluttershy really was. I could hold her in my arms without much effort, and she wasn't very physically voluminous. She had stood at full height when she had backed into me, at which point she didn't even come up to half of my knee. So, without much else to do, I knelt down next to another tree and laid her against it, back to the tree. Now, having the shy mare unconscious and laying near a tree, and sat down on the grass at the base of another tree to contemplate what I was going to do.

Now, I am generally a rational thinker, and I don't panic. Panicking is for pussies.

Human: Well, obviously her friends will come looking for her eventually, so when that time comes, I'll have to give them a good fucking reason to not waste me on the spot for fillynapping Fluttershy.

Of course, that will be rather hard, considering that I have a bloody manticore corpse a few yards away from my new site! Not to mention the vicious Timberwolves devouring it. However, I had not realized how tiring all of this shit going on really was, and despite the midday timing, I drifted off to sleep on the comfy grass.

I woke up to see an attentive, butter yellow... face, staring at me, hovering very, very close to my face. Of course, my natural reaction, being a hardcore gamer with close-range reflexes honed by dodging Berserker charges, was to press the B Button. However, without a controller in my hand, I resorted to the B Button's action: a melee attack, which in this case was a right hook.

Human: Bring it, motherfucker.

I got up off of the ground with all of the grace of a three-toed sloth. The Timberwolves that I had tamed were rushing in to maul this small creature, but I wanted to know what it was first. Mind you, this was when I had just woken up, so I haven't really put much thought into what a combination of a yellow, hovering organism, one that appeared in the same forest as a pack of real Timberwolves, could make this place turn out to be. I made a fist out of my right hand and waved it to the right.

Human: Halt!

Alpha: Yes, master.

The hounds instantly sat down, as if I had pressed a button that made them sit while still in motion. They all turned to look at me.

I stared at the little yellow mess on the ground a few yards away from me for a few seconds, until I realized what had just happened.

Human: Dafuq? What is this bullshit?

Needless to say, I was as confused as you as to what the fuck just happened.

Alpha: What bullshit, master?

There it was again.

Human: Ok, who the flying dick is talking? Reveal yourself, asswipe!

I screamed while looking straight up into the air.

Alpha: I am sitting right in front of you, master. Please, look down.

I did, and there he was, the pack Alpha. He spoke again.

Alpha: What is wrong, master?

This fucking wolf sounds just like Doug from that movie Up.

Human: Ahhhhhhhh. The wolf is talking. Cool. Wait...

I put my hand on my chin and stroked it as if it were a goatee. I was contemplating what the fuck was happening. So Timberwolves can talk? Yeah, they probably only talk to their masters, so me. Seems legitimate.

Human: Too much fucking Minecraft... like shit it is. You can never have too much Minecraft.

I was surprised by my control over these fearsome beasts. Perhaps it is a good thing that Minecraft has taken over my life. Now, back to this little shit fuck on the ground over here.

Human: Hey wolfie, what is that?

I directed his attention towards the mass of yellow, still motionless on the grass nearby. The wolf spoke, opening his mouth but not moving in the form of speech, so therefore telepathy.

Alpha: That is Fluttershy, master. She is a pony.

Human: Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa... Flutters. Son of a bitch. Well fuck my ballsack, I punched Fluttershy. Wait... Fluttershy? Ponies? Badassness.

Alpha: Timberwolves hunt and kill ponies that wander onto Timberwolf Territory, but Fluttershy is very very very very nice to many animals, and no animals ever try to hurt Fluttershy.

So Fluttershy was on the ground, possibly dead, with a pack of Timberwolves and I as the only possible suspects. Sounds like a fun time.

Human: Alright pup, we need to get this area cleaned up.

I commanded the wolves to devour all of the remaining meat from the manticore corpse. They went back at it hungrily, as their appetite had not been sated before they were rediected by my strike to Fluttershy. Within minutes, the corpse was clean of all edible matter. So, with a new command, I told the wolves to dig holes in the ground, and then to bury the bones. In about five minutes, there was no longer a trace of death in the forest clearing. That was when I heard a moan. I turned my head towards the sond, and saw that Fluttershy had stirred. I guess that I either didn't hit her too hard, or she was very durable.

Either way, she was awakening. I walked over to her, then decided to command all of my wolves to sit. They did so, but continued to stare at me. I crouched down onto my heels, legs bent at the knees so I could a closer look at her. She shook her head, then opened her eyes. Regardles of how uch of an animal lover you are, you will squeal upon seeing a massive set of eyes observing you from above. So she did.

Fluttershy: EEEEEEEEK!

Flutters scrambled to her hooves, and tried to quickly back away, but was met with Timberwolves. Now, in a normal situation, she would have acted much more calmly at the sight of these beasts, but all of the recent excitement had her adrenaline rushing, and she reacted on her fearful instinct. It was then that I decided to try to calm her down. The wolves blocked her path, not allowing for her escape, so I only had to scoot forward a foot or two. So, I approached her slowly.

Human: Fluttershy, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you.

I tried to scoot closer to her, but she backed further into the wood of the Timberwolves, and did something that I did not expect.

Fluttershy: GO AWAY! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!

She was actually screaming at me. So, I did as she commanded. I stopped scooting and backed away. I had been looking down at the ground the entire time, and I just now look up at her face. A face full of pure terror. Hr chest was heaving, and I could tell that she did not trust me. I spoke again.

Human: Flutters, come on. What's wrong?

Fluttershy: These Timberwolves, and... and... and you, and the manticore. Why... why... why would you do that to him? He didn't do anything to you!

Fluttershy was trying to sound angry at me, but she only held her resolve for about the seconds. It was a good thing that she didn't actually use the Stare, because she would have been standing there for a long time trying to Stare me down. I didn't change expression, just stared at her with a blank face. Once her will had melted under my eyes, she started to cry. Yeah, that's right. I Stared down Fluttershy and made her cry. I'm such a badass.

I saw the tears well up in her eyes, and while I may not have any emotion for this sort of thing, I understand that normal people lke to be comforted in some way. So, abandoning all pretenses, I scooted back over to her, and put my arm around her back. I pulled her into an embrace, then wrapped my other arm around her, too. Despite the fact that it was I that she believed had murdered the manticore, as well as the fact that I pretty much did, she still wrapped her forlegs around my waist. At this point, Fluttershy let it all out and started sobbing into me. Through her bawling, she managed to make out some words.

Fluttershy: Why-uh-hu... would you do this? Why-hu-uh-hic... would you hurt him? He didn't do-hic anything to you...

Fluttershy finally stopped sobbing, and just held onto me for about a minute more. Finally, she let me go, then looked up at me. Now, she looked genuinely pissed.

Fluttershy: What were you thinking, mister? Why did you do that to him? What has HE ever done to YOU? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Now, she really was trying to Stare me own, in an attempt to get me to feel remorse for my action. Yeah no.

She Stared at me, and I Stared right back. I even began leaning in, coming ever closer to her face, watching her with the most shit-faced smile you will ever see. She held up her end of the Stare, trying to tame me, to break me. But I am not not the broken. I am the breaker.

In order to make more of an impact on her, I started staring more intensely, to the point where I was staring right into her soul. Fluttershy started to breath more heavily, and after a minute of the raw, she fell down to her side, gasping for air on the ground. I smirked.

Once she regained use of her lungs, she looked up at me.

Fluttershy: Ho-o-ow? My... my Stare always works... how did you do that?

I looked at her honestly questioning face and crouched down next to her.

Human: Okay, Fluttershy. Your Stare works off of the principle of fear. Now, see the problem here is that you tried to Stare me down. You tried to strike fear into me. But I do not feel fear. I never have. Don't feel bad that you can't make me regret. It's not your fault. I just don't feel the same kind of emotions that normal things do.

Fluttershy laid next to me, listening intently. As far as she knew, I was just another strange animal that she had never seen before. Now, a puzzled expression came to her.

Fluttershy: Umm, mister... uh, how... how did you know my name was Fluttershy?


End file.
